June 10, 2009
It’s Your World, Squirrel
Erin and I intended to move out to Las Vegas and dick around for a few months – a year tops – but if you’ll look at the Vegas section you’ll see those posts are dated 2003. We’ve been in Sin City for an incredible six years! It’s been good and bad, but we’re finally bouncing out and trying something different. First stop: Southeast Asia. Please check back for more updates in the very near future…
Malaysia
Unlike the majority of Asia, Malaysia is predominantly Muslim. Some sites have big signs that say CLOSED and when you get closer and read the fine print it says to non Muslims. This means there isn’t too much nightlife, even in Kuala Lumpur. For fun, we recommend getting a foot massage where you stick your feet in with a bunch of fish and they nibble the bacteria off your toes.
When flying on a Malaysian airline, the head flight attendant gave a lecture on the microphone of the dangers of alcohol. He said the wine and beer were complementary with dinner, but we strongly discouraged it. We ignored these warnings and had a glass of wine and received many dirty looks from the attendants and fellow passengers. Here is the exact wording of the card that was in our seats of the Malaysian air carrier:
DOA (PRAYER) WHEN THE AIRCRAFT IS TAKING OFF AND LANDING
"In the name of Allah when taking off and landing, verify my God is most forgiving and merciful."
Allah is the greatest, Allah is the greatest, Allah is the greatest. How perfect He is, The One Who has placed this (transport) at our service, and we ourselves would not have been capable of that, and to our Lord is our final destiny. O Allah, we ask You for birr and taqwaa in this journey of ours, and we ask You for deeds which please You. O Allah, facilitate our journey and let us cover it's distance quickly. O Allah, You are The Companion on the journey and The Successor over the family, O Allah I take refuge with You from the difficulties of travel, from having a change of hearts and being in a bad predicament, and I take refugue in You from an ill fated outcome with wealth and family.'
Thailand
We’ve spent a lot of time exploring Thailand. Below is a guide we drafted for someone who was moving to Khao Lak for one year. Maybe you will find it helpful…
WEP KEYS
Emerald Suites (next to Marcel's shop): 0895941856
NangTong (best spot to chill by the beach)*: 9918122007
Booktree: 1234567890
Pizzeria: 1111111111
*The supermarket is called Nang Tong. Just take a right and follow the road all the way to the beach. At the end of the road is the hotel Nang Tong. Great spot for farang food (not too expensive) and sunset cocktails on the beach.
RESTAURANTS
Lots of good choices! You'll eat at Amnat's a lot and that is probably the best Thai food I've ever had. There's no menu there. It's kinda cute to show up the first time and have Bum ask what you want when you have no idea what she serves. I hate to take that adventure away from you, but with your diet, you'll need some pointers...
Fried Rice = cow pat pack
(cow = rice; gin cow is their word for eating which literally means 'eat rice')
(pat = way of frying it)
(pack = vegetables)
mai sigh = without (sigh means with and mai in front of anything is the opposite.) mai ou is interchangeable. (ou = want)
mai sigh kai = no egg
mai sigh nam plah = no fish sauce (nam = water; blah/plah = fish)
mai sigh newa = no meat. (i always mess up newa. they never understand. i used to just say it then repeat that i was a vegetarian.)
gin jay = eat vegetarian or 'pom gin jay' is i eat vegetarian
Some items you order 'jay' which I think means vegetarian but others you order 'pack' which is just vegetable. You'll figure it out. som tham jay is right and gang keo wan pack (sweet green curry vegetable) is right. tom yum jay. Bum (Amnat's girlfriend who is an awesome cook) makes an awesome tom yum for me. I'd order it without mushrooms but get all sorts of other vegetable goodness in there.
Pretty much anytime you see a coke sign, that means restaurant. You'll find many, but I want to higlight a couple that are worth finding... Oh, lots of these restaurant names are nicknames since the signs are in Thai...
- Portofino: pizza restaurant. This used to be next to Song's Bar but the two owners butted heads and Portofino dude picked up his shop and moved it to a horrible location. Now he's desperate for business and he'll definitely give you a hookup. Make sure you go with Lak the first time. Then you'll see where it is and the owner will remember you for future discounts. Lak doesn't like to ride her motorbike at night, so if a group of you go, just save room on the back of a bike for Lak. Oh, and she drives super, super slow, so be cautious. If you're eating cheese, this restaurant is awesome. If not, it's just so-so...
- Mogetah: This is a style of cooking which is just a buffet that you cook on your table. It's a lot of meat, but there was enough other shit for me. Plus they have a som tam making station. It was good practice. There are a couple restaurants around, but the one I liked the best was on the way to TKP... It's after Ban Muang on the left. The sign just has some Thai characters and a big 99. This is because it only costs 99 baht. Sign is kinda buried. And the selection gets sparse later in the evening.
- Ice Cream Shop: This is the cutest little shop I've ever seen. Ask Mark and Grace to take you. It's in TKP and I have no idea how to get there... but it's so cute. The seating is arranged as little huts buried in the woods.
- Random other restaurant with huts in the woods... When driving to TKP, when you hit the stop light, make the right as if you're going to Old TKP. Don't go too far, but you'll see a coke sign and a long driveway on the right. That's a restaurant. It doesn't get tourists at all. The food is good - nothing special about it... but the ambiance is awesome. And they have really cheap mixed drinks
- River Restaurant: When you're in Ban Muang, the town is pretty much confined to a strip of shops. Make a left at the end of the strip. This is all before the gas station. On your right will be a restaurant kinda buried. It's super cute. Unfortunately, I discovered this place on one of my last nights in Bangsak... Lak and Shei (Shei got pretty proficient at Thai) were there to help me order. The menu is written only in Thai, so I needed the help! But damn.... They had some awesome salads. Banana leaf salad jay was awesome. Make Lak take you one night...
- Mexican Restaurant: This restaurant is just odd. And surprisingly the food is pretty good. Go to Kho Koh Kaew (pronounced Go Go Gaew) - it's the small island that you have to take a boat to. Turn left at the start of Ban Muang. You will see a single sign for Kho Koh Kaew. Follow the road until it ends. At the end is a ferry port. Bring your motorbike - it should cost 30 baht if I remember correctly... Or maybe it was $3, which is 100 baht. The island is low key. Boats stop going back fairly early, so this is an afternoon adventure. The Mexican restaurant is on the left of the first street you'll be on.
- Chili Pepper Restaurant: The sign has a big, red chili pepper. Restaurant is past Khao Lak (hereinafter referred to as KL) - drive like you're heading to Phuket. You'll see it on your right. Expensive relative to the rest of the area, but not horrible. Menu is limited, but it's such a chill spot for watching the sunset.
- Khao Lak Seafood: There were quite a few times when we were in KL looking for somewhere to eat. The restaurants in KL pretty much suck. They're expensive and not too tasty. (Especially the pizza places. The only good place for pizza is Portofino.) KL Seafood is def the best restaurant in KL. Prices are fair and the selection is awesome. It's a good starter place because the menu is written in English and phonetic Thai. I learned all my variations of curry at this place. My favorite is Massaman (peanut). Yum!
- Soup Place: Amanda took me to this one and it helped me order at all of the soup stalls across the country. The broth is meat based (damn!) but I ate here quite a few times. This place is in Ban Muang. It's on the left a couple doors ahead of the turn for the River Restaurant. It's just a big soup looking thing. They've got meats and noodles hanging. You walk up to the counter to order. You name the noodle then the meat. 'Sehn' means noodle - sehn as in "strand." There are different sizes of noodle. I'd just say: sehn lek jay (noodle little vegetarian) or sehn yai jay (noodle big vegetarian). I never ordered the middle sized noodle because I didn't know how. This is a lunch place only.
- Cookies and Cream: Coffee shop in TKP. You'll see it on the way to the bus station. It's on the right. It looks super trendy and really odd in TKP. I used to get latte shakes. Soooo good!
- Cafe Artit: While I'm talking about coffee, I used to go to this place late at night when I was craving a coffee shop environment. It's small and it's on the left in KL. I also found good lattes at Portofino. What I started to do was bring my own soy milk. I'd hand them the single serving soy milk and let them make my latte with that. The best soy milk I found had a honey dabber on the front cover. I had to read the labels because a lot of the soy milks are made with fish or milk. And a lot of them are gross. I found the honey dabber one was the best.
- Random beach stand restaurant: This is also odd. If you walk on the beach beginning across the street from your bungalow and walk toward the Royal Bangsak, you'll hit a small stand in the middle of the beach. They have farang food. I ate french fries. They were good.
- Rotti stand in front of the grocery store: Rottis are made with egg, but they're really good. Menu is in English. You'll figure it out.
BARS/NIGHTLIFE
Lots of tourist bars in KL. BN has bars with live Thai music. We often ended up at Song's. It's the only place without a band that I can think of off the top of my head. Song's added a ladyboy show a couple nights each week and the bar turned into a whole other place. It was soooo crowded and prices went up, up.
At the TKP bus station, there are two really cute places. One is a club on the left with a red sign. Whatever it was called, it was written in English. Fun. :) The other is buried in the back. You have to drive through the bus station and hit the streets behind it. It's a strange, cute little bar. They have a band and the decor is pirate/gothic.
There's a pool hall in Ban Muang. It's on the second floor at the corner where you'd turn to the River Restaurant.
TRANSPORTATION
We used a driver to go to the airport (and once to the bus station in Bang Niang). Tell him you’re a teacher at R35 and he'll be flexible with rates. The dude's name is Num. He speaks great English. I feel like he was schooled in Singapore. You'll find his office if you take a right at the 7-11 in Bang Niang. It's across the street from Song's Bar.
Unseen Khaolak - Num
driver to airport two people 1200 baht
unseenkhaolak@yahoo.com.th
076-443251, cell: 086-2703749
When you go to Bangkok, you'll want to take the VIP bus from the Ban Niang bus station. It's buried back a bit. Just turn left at the first 7-11, well before you get to the area around Song's. You'll need to buy ticket in advance. The bus leaves around 5pm. Take a xanax. Wake up and you're in BKK. Beautiful and comfortable. Oh, and the BN bus station is one of the only places in town open for late night eating.
When you go to Phuket, you catch the bus on the street. You just flag the dude down. Lak may know the approximate schedule. There's an expensive bus that leaves around 3:15pm or so... can 't remember exactly. But you'll want to take that one. It's never too full and it goes fast. By expensive, I mean it costs 120 baht while the other buses cost 90-100 baht.
When you go to Krabi, you need to figure out when the direct bus leaves... Or else you'll have to switch over in Kluk Kloi which just sucks. I want to say the Krabi bus leaves around 3:45pm... It drops you right in the middle of Krabi. You'll need to take a Song Taew to Ao Nong which is the beach side of Krabi. Railay (awesome island where "The Beach" was filmed) is right there.
PHARMACY
Xanax is called alphrozohlem or something like that. I gave you the pack on purpose so you can see how it comes. One pack is 500 baht, but not all pharmacies will sell it to you. The two I found that would give it with just my asking were in KL. One was on the right as soon as you got into town. It is a pharmacy next to a bunch of gift shops. I feel like the color purple was important in my locating it. The other is buried back deeper into town. It's on the same strip as Cafe Arthit, but it's at the start of that strip.
LAUNDRY
The lady at Amnats will do your laundry. At the end of my time there her service started smelling better too, but at first it could sometimes come back a little moldy smelling.... And she line dries everything, so it's really weather dependant. I found the service at another place a bit more expensive, but better. If you're driving toward KL, start paying attention on the right side of the road after Le Meridien. It's another couple km down the road. Look for an 'Internet' sign. Laundry is right next door. If you pass the Sarogin you've gone too far. They have prices listed for express and normal, but Matt negotiated a per kilo rate. I believe we were paying 50 baht per kilo - may have been 60... ? Tell them you're a teacher and your friend told you to get per kilo. The stuff comes back smelling awesome and it's super fast.
HAIR CUTS
I found a great hair place in TKP. Super cheap and they wash your hair four times! Feels awesome. If you're in TKP, stand with your back to the Bank of Bangkok, and face the post office. Walk across the street and to the right. The hair place is just before a tailor. Jillian had Lak write instructions in Thai. I just went in and made my fingers into scissors and said 'pom tuk.' (pom is hair.)
MARKETS
Bang Niang Market: Wed, Sat. Touristed and locals. English spoken here.
TKP Bus Station Market: everyday. Good place to buy all of your king shirts. Don't spend more than 200 THB/shirt. 100 is a good price if you can find it. Matt and I bought our hot water heaters at one of the stores here... but they were expensive. I'd recommend the Carre Four at the mall in Patong if you decide you need one.
TKP Food Market: everyday. Some is open during the day; this is really a night market though... At the stop light, you just go straight and you're there. I like the kanome gyn restaurant. Gyn means Chinese. You just order noodles with whatever pot of curry sauce you want then there's a shit load of toppings at the table that you pile on. The curries are meat based, but I ordered jay and got sauce ohne meat.
mango and sticky rice - mam-moung, kaew neaw (or maybe the order is reversed). best thing at the markets!
Ban Muang Fruit and Veg Market: Daily until 6 or 7. I went here a couple times/week. Highlights: dragon fruit, mango, cashews. You'll see it on the left as you drive into town.
DR/DENTIST
There's a new clinic that opened right when I was leaving. If you make a right at the Ban Niang 7-11 it's on your left. Looks very clean. I'll bet you can get your Hep A/B twin done there. Tell them you're a teacher and live in Bangsak for cheaper rates.
If you want your teeth cleaned, there's a dentist's office that just opened in KL as I was leaving. I'm trying to remember where it was... It's on the right side of the road and I want to say it's before the grocery store... Again, they had cheaper rates for "locals."
SITES
Tsunami Memorial: a park that's dedicated to tsunami victims. Drive toward Ban Muang, take a left, make a lot of turns heading toward the beach and somehow find it.
Waterfalls: they're everywhere. Some are a quick look, others are hikes. Just follow signs. Chong Fa is a good, peaceful one.
White Sandy Beach: Drive past KL and keep your eyes peeled. There is a small sign on your right. Definitely an awesome beach. Technically it's part of the national park. You'll have to walk past an unmanned check post. About a ten minute hike through some awesome jungle on a well maintained trail, then you're at one of the coolest beaches I've ever seen.
TKP Boat Ride: Very cute (but loud!) - don't let them tell you that it's one person per boat. They'll take two. I believe it's 500 baht/boat. Go to TKP, take a left at the light, then I believe you'll make the first left. If you pass the police station on the left you're on the correct road. Follow it until there's a sharp left turn and you'll see a cheap hand made sign.
ADDITIONAL
Le Meridien has a gym and a pool that are fairly easy to sneak into.
Bonfires on the beach were always fun.
Matt and I brought our own water everywhere we went. We'd even leave a meal to run to the 7-11 to pick up some water for 13 baht rather than paying restaurant rates of 30-100 baht. No one seemed to mind. The cheap water that costs 5 baht/bottle isn't really good for you. The dental hygienist who visited campus said it's shitty for your teeth... And it's sitting in recycled bottles that were questionably cleaned. I drink a ton of water, so I'd have it sometimes, but I felt better buying the individual bottles at the 7-11. I'd more or less recycle too. I'd put the plastic bottles in their own bag and leave it next to a trash can. Some family would inevitably pick it up and get money for recycling.
NOTES ON PATONG
Very cheap hotel that we stayed at every time is Kaew Kong (Ks are pronounced as Gs) - location below. Don't bother with reservations, just show up. I want to say that rooms are 400 baht. Room 301 (or maybe it was 201) is the best. Some rooms have bed bugs. Remember which rooms those are for your next trip. :) If you take a taxi the first time, you can give them the address but you can probably find it on your own... Bang La is the main road. Kurt's hotel is straight on Bang La. If you're on Bang La facing Kurt's, go right. Be on the same side of the street as the mall. Walk until you see a big pink building called Christian Massage on the opposite side of the road. There's a small side street on your left before you pass the Christian Massage, and Kaew Kong is there on the side street on the right side.
Kaew Kong Mansion
207/50 Rat-U-Thit 200 Pee Rd
Patong Beach, Kathu, Phuket 83150
(66) 76-345839 - 40
(perpendicular to Thaweewong Rd)
(btwn Soi Kepsub and Bangala Rd)
You can buy cheap bootleg movies at an art store. Dude charged us whatever the first time - I think 70 baht. But all subsequent visits he remembered us and charged 60 baht/movie. I liked him because he would tell you if they were bad copies. The movies that are still in theaters tend to be poor, but the rest are good. If you're walking from your hotel to Bang La, just cross the street. Look for an art store with paintings spilling out into the sidewalk. Tell one of the ladies sitting there that you want to buy DVDs and she'll find the guy for you. He'll take you to a secret room upstairs.
The Phuket bus station is pretty far from Patong... There are taxis who will take you to Patong. I want to say you can negotiate as cheaply as 400 THB, despite the taxi drivers showing you posted signs that give much higher rates. Once I couldn't find one who would give me a decent rate, so I started walking toward the main road and there was one sitting outside the 7-11 who gave me a reasonable rate. Matt gave me great directions to the Song Taew, which became my preferred way to travel. I want to say it cost 30 baht. I'll do my best to give you the directions... It's about a 15 minute walk. We had it down. When we took the more expensive bus, we'd arrive in Phuket with just enough time to speed walk to the Song Teaw and catch it to Patong just in time... You walk out of the station toward the 7-11. Make a right. Go for a really long time. When you see Thai Bank (purple sign) on your right, you'll want to make a left. Then make your first right and walk for a couple blocks. You'll walk past a couple fountains. When you're in the middle of a street market, you'll see Song Taews and buses lined up on the left. Look for the Patong one.... You'll have to know where to jump off. You can tell the driver Bang La if you're unsure and you'll be right there at the mall and Bang La.
NOTES ON BKK
Jill's Hotel in BKK (very shitty and in the backpacker district which is super far from the rest of BKK)
She got a double for 250 baht (advertised 400). Singles for 300.
First Guest House
149-151 Tanow Rd, Opposite Khaosand Rd
Phanakhon Bangkok 10200 Thailand
k_pornphira@hotmail.com
662-629-3201
Matt's Hotel in BKK
Golden Palace on Sukumvit 1 (where we typically stayed)
Furama Xclusive (found a good deal on travelocity)
Steve found: Star Suites at
81 Sukumvit Soi 15
02651-0030
www.starsuitesbangkok.com
Vertigo is at Banyan Tree hotel.... 21/100 South Sathon Rd
No Hands: Silom Rd by Pat Pong (Seedy place with expensive food where the girls feed you. Steve went. He paid $100 for a steak dinner.)
Nana: Sukumvit Soy 4 (This is a seedy area. I like it better than Patpong - everything is so compact and cute. There's a bar that's all lady boys all the way on the back right corner. Visit for fun.)
Arabic District: Sukumvit Soy 3 1/2
The Gazebo is a good, trendy hookah lounge at Sukumvit Soy 1
Tokyo Joe's (google for address)
Jazz bar at Victory Monument
Take the river ferry. Recommended to take the free one to one of the hotels over there (Mandarin Oriental) - it leaves from one of the train stations at the end of the line. I forget which...
Take a trip to Ayutthaya. Stay for a night. Go on one of the tours where they drive you to everything.
NOTES ON KRABI
We stayed at Phang Nga Bay Shore or PN Bay Resort... right on the bay. We negotiated on room rates. I want to say we paid 800, but it may have been 1000.
We took our motorbikes all the way there. It's a pretty long drive. You can also just take a bus and rent a motorbike when you get there. If you elect to do that, bring your passport for bike rental. There is a hotel right next to the 7-11 in town who had a great map of the area. It's just a xeroxed piece of paper, but it was super helpful. Rooms seemed fine there and were pretty cheap, but we splurged and stayed on the Bay.
These are the sites to see in PN:
Heaven/Hell (believe it's called Tham Tapan Temple)
Phung Chang Cave (elephant cave)
Budda Cave (monkey temple)
All were awesome! Definitely check them out. We also got private boat on bay 1000 baht for half a day. We had Amnat hook us up with his contact. Amnat will also be more than happy to do a tour of this area, hitting all the major sites.
Vietnam
Vietnam is a pretty popular circuit for tourists. We recommend you start in the south (Saigon) and work your way up north. Just take buses – they’re so easy to maneuver and you’ll figure everything out as you go. The route we took was two weeks long and we loved it. We went Saigon – Dalat – Nha Trang – Hoi An – Hue – Hanoi – Sapa – Hanoi again.
We don’t want to provide too much instruction because it’s so easy to figure it all out when you arrive. The buses will drop you off at great central spots with the resources you’ll need. Instead, this guide is a little different. It’s just a compilation of notes that we took along the way…
Tunnel Rat: "engage in a deadly game of hide-and-seek"
Ba Ba Ba is a type of beer, but ‘ba’ also means ‘woman’ depending on your tone. Tour guide made a joke: order a beer and three old women show up.
Very young country. 50% under 30. “City people have their salaries docked if they have more than two kids, but there was no way to control the farmers. They break the law.”
Tour offers: “a different perspective than the American perspective.”
Hero for Killing Americans Awarded as American Killer Hero "a rifle in one hand, a plow in the other"
There were many clever and scary traps in S Vietnam. Here are a few: falling chain trap, rolling trap, window trap, fish trap, clipping armpit trap, and swinging up trap. The scariest was the door trap, aka no more baby trap. When you walk through door, there are spikes. There’s a hinge in the middle, so if you put your arms or gun out to block your chest, the harder it hits your torso.
They used American parachutes to make canopies to protect from sun.
There are shoes made from old tires. They provide excellent traction. Sometimes the Vietnamese would wear them backwards so the footprints were going wrong way. Trap!
1945-1975?:
3 mil Vietnamese killed, among them 2 mil civilians
2 mil injured, 300,000 missing
The following was written on a plaque at the American War Crimes Museum:
From 8pm-9pm on Feb 25, 1969, a group of Seal Rangers (one of the most selective rangers of US Army) led by Lieutenant Bob Kerry reached for Hamlet 5, Thanh Phong Villiage, Thanh Phu District, Ben Tre Province. They cut 66 yr old Bwi Van Vat and 62 yr old Luu Thi Chan's necks and pulled their three grandchildren out fr their hiding place in a drain and killed two and disembowelled one. Then these rangers moved to dug-outs of other familes, shot dead 15 civilians (incl 3 pregnant women), disembowelled a girl. The only survivor was a 12 yr old girl named Bui Thi Luom who suffered a foot injury.
It was not untl April 2001 that US Senator Bob Kerrey confessed his crime to the int'l public.