Countries Without an Identity and Their Men
The previous chapters discussed the men of Western Europe, but you may be wondering what happened to Austria, Belgium, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, and Switzerland. These countries don't have enough of an identity - hell! some don't even have their own language - so we couldn't write entire chapters on them.
Austria is the birthplace of great musicians and great chocolate cakes, but it's not much different than Germany. They mess up a few simple German words, but for the most part they get the language right. For information on how Austrian men behave, see the chapter on German men and picture them 150 times nicer.
Belgium is a small country in the center of Europe that's become a melding pot of Europeans. There are two official languages (French and Flemish) but your average Belgian will speak six more than that. Before the Euro standardized the continent, little corner stores would take any currency. The country is such an international hub of politics and people passing through, that they've got nothing distinctive of their own - except an embarrassingly large illegal child porn ring. See all chapters 2 - 9 to possibly understand Belgian men.
Then there are the two "L" countries: they're so small that they barely exist. See the chapter on German Men and mesh it around with the chapter on Eastern European Men to understand the behavioral patterns of the men here (if you give a shit).
Switzerland is the home of illegal bank accounts and a very scary military. They're so neutral on everything that they've just taken the cultures and languages of their neighboring countries and put a higher price tag on it. To understand Swiss men near Italy, see chapter on Italian men. For the Swiss near Germany, see chapter on German men. Same goes for the Swiss bordering France: see chapter on French men.
If you're looking for a name to call your Unidentified Man, try one of these:
Potential Boyfriend Names
| Name | Pronunciation |
|---|---|
| Arnold | ARE-nowld |
| Bernhard | BEAR-N-hard |
| Bussi | BOO-see |
| Cristi | chris-TEE |
| Elvis | elvis |
| Francis | frawn-CYST |
| Gaston | gas-TON |
| Johannes | scary motherfucker |
| Julian | YOU-lee-on |
| Lars | lars |
| Naif | knife |
| Razi | rah-SZEE |
| Reinholt | RHINE-old |
| Theudobald | THEW-do-bald |
| Welby | well-be |
Comments
Do the US have their own language? I don't think so. So I have to say the US is the same as Belgium, but a little bit bigger. The US is also a melding pot of Europeans. Or did you forget that most of your families are coming from Europe!
Posted by: Dominique | May 12, 2003 12:38 AM
USA= Union of Stupid Assholes
Posted by: y | May 17, 2003 05:47 AM
y = self-fellating buttmonkey
Posted by: dude | May 20, 2003 08:49 PM
Countries Without an Identity?
How about the US?
:p
Posted by: Oscar | May 25, 2003 08:53 PM
everyone knows the US is a melting pot... it's one reason that everyone and their dogs come here. and since when is everyone from europe? maybe 100 years ago, but today everyone's intermixed so much no one cares who's from where. if everyone hates us so much, then stop coming over here. if you lived here you'd love it too, don't bullshit yourselves into thinking otherwise.
Posted by: dna | June 7, 2003 04:41 PM
Er, We have two languages. American and Ebonics. American is so far removed from English that I think it constitutes it's own language.
Posted by: AHibiki | June 9, 2003 03:51 PM
If American and English are so far removed from eachother, you can say the same about the Flemish language from the Belgians and Dutch. So that would give them an identity. So that would American English, since Flemish is a Dutch "dialect".
Posted by: wesleys | June 16, 2003 10:50 AM
u biatch i be speakin Ebonics and this be tha one true merican language, now go get your ho ass over to the cooler and fetch me a 40 and a blunt.
muthafucka!
ho just aint respectin me no more i gotta pimp slapper up!
Posted by: Big L | June 19, 2003 06:43 PM
Some people really take this shit seriously....
Posted by: Don | July 7, 2003 05:18 AM