Dutch Men
The thought of writing an entire chapter on Dutch men made us cringe because there's not a whole heck of a lot to say about these boys. They're not bad guys, they're just boring. Strong points: well-educated, open-minded and kind. Weak points: everything else. Grab a Dutch boy and make him your best friend. If you make him your boyfriend, you're in for some serious frustration. Dutch men don't understand passion, romance or excitement. They lack imagination and fail to understand the fine art of present-giving.
Potential Boyfriend Names
| Name | Pronunciation |
|---|---|
| Aartjen | We had a tough enough time spelling these names. Your guess on pronunciations is as good as ours. |
| Baartge | |
| Baldzo | |
| Cornelis-Evert | |
| Dietbout | |
| Everhard | |
| Gerko | |
| Hendrik | |
| Maritje-Claasz | |
| Riian | |
| Sofie | |
| Teeuwisse | |
| Tekko | |
| Waccar | |
| Xavius |
Four Insights into Dutch Culture
Dutch Dogs
The Dutch treat every living animal well - dogs included.
Dutch Driving
The Dutch are courteous drivers and can most often be found pedaling around courteously on a bicycle.
Dutch Time Telling Abilities
Sure, the Dutch can tell time. They're respectful to appointments and try to be punctual.
Dutch Theft
Most thefts in Holland are committed by the cracked out tourists. Bicycle stealing has become very popular over the years.
Useful Dutch Phrases (He Speaks English Better Than You Do)
| What You'll Want To Say: | How To Say It: |
|---|---|
| I don't want to date you. | I'm not interested in a relationship right now. |
| I really don't want to date you. | I have a boyfriend at home. |
| I really, really don't want to date you. | Nothing against you: I'm a lesbian. |
How to Meet Him
The prostitutes in the display windows in the red light district are there for the tourists. You're not going to find a Dutch man there. The coffee shops are there for the tourists as well. Only something crazy like 5% of Dutch people use marijuana on a regular basis, so you're not going to find him there either. Being the nice guy he is, you'll probably find him in a nursing home. He'll be donating his time reading erotic poetry to old ladies.
Tips for the Date
Don't expect your date to come up with some fabulous idea for a night out. Grab your city guide and come up with your own agenda. Bring your wallet because you'll be "going Dutch."
What You Should Know about the Netherlands
Although a Dutch boy won't purposely make you feel bad for being ignorant about his country, feeling bad is inevitable. You'll be intimidated by his perfect English and knowledge about politics. Do you know who the senators from Ohio are? He does. Dutch boys know everything.
We'll tell you a few things about the Netherlands so you won't feel too lame. You'll be a step ahead of the rest of the tourists if you know that marijuana isn't legal. The Dutch signed an international treaty years ago making it illegal, but the Health Officials ran some studies and found it didn't cause insanity, so now they regulate it. Also, the Netherlands was originally swampland. Early settlers dug a bunch of dykes and canals and drained the country, making it livable. There, that should be enough general knowledge for your Dutch boy to pretend he's impressed.
What You Need To Know About Dutch Cities
| Amsterdam | It's where the tourists go. |
| Rotterdam | It's where the tourists who stay more than a few days go. |
| The Hague | It's where the tourists who are on business go. |
Impressing His Mother
His mother is a loving, caring person and she'll like you no matter who you are.
Dutch Girl Competition
Dutch girls are just as nice and ordinary as Dutch boys. Boring and boring don't mix, so the girls are probably out looking for some French guy to blow smoke in their face or some German guy to tell them something isn't possible. So if you're after that Dutch stud, don't worry about any Dutch girls. They're not competing.
When You Want Him to Go Away
When you're ready to leave him, you're going to break his nice, little heart. Be gentle and remember you're ruining him for life.
Comments
Dutch men boring???? HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Let's meet the next time you are in Amsterdam or Brussels and i'll prove they are not boring.
Posted by: marko | May 9, 2003 01:39 PM
They are indeed boring as hell. I live in Belgium, just below the Netherlands. So I can reassure you they're more than boring. They even eat cheese!!!
Posted by: Pliske | May 10, 2003 08:00 PM
I am dutch and you are funny.........
Posted by: paul | May 12, 2003 03:14 AM
And we also eat mayonaise with our fries! So what!!??
Posted by: Alt | May 12, 2003 03:44 AM
Oh come on guys, what the hell are we talking about here. Some American chick, (if it IS a chick), writes a "review" on Dutch guys. As if there is such thing as "the Dutch guy". She knows shit about us.
Besides, we don't want American chicks anyway. They're dumb, shallow, can't even write their own language properly, and think the world ends at the U.S. borders. In fact, that goes for every U.S. citizen, male and female.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Posted by: Mark | May 12, 2003 03:59 AM
Hear hear Mark.
Posted by: sjoerd | May 12, 2003 07:40 AM
Having seen the review for Spanish men, I am not surprised you do not like Dutch men.
They are passionate people who will shower you with gifts, at least for a week, or two....
Good luck there.
Posted by: ko | May 12, 2003 08:11 AM
If it ain't dutch it ain't much.
Posted by: yuksel | May 12, 2003 11:05 AM
Fat, MCDonalds, dumb, ugly, fat, ugly, Bowling for columbine, fat, hamburgers, and did i mentioned fat and ugly?? America in a nutshell
Posted by: Jorg | May 12, 2003 11:11 AM
hahaha, shallow, and fat, and on a diet for the rest of your life, no education worth mentioning, having 3 jobs for the rest of your fat life, with a bunch of kids on your 20th, watching tv , eating burgers and french fries, (without the lovely mayonaise). enjoy your life.
Posted by: yuksel | May 12, 2003 11:27 AM
Quote - Pronunciation: "We had a tough enough time spelling these names. Your guess on pronunciations is as good as ours".
Okay, if you girls can find only one guy or even a filthy dog called Aartjen, Baldzo, Baartge, Waccar or Xavius in the darkest corner of Holland...you are the proud owner of 1.000.000 Euro's!!!! Suck6
Posted by: Jorg | May 12, 2003 11:41 AM
he Jorg, do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Posted by: yuksel | May 12, 2003 11:57 AM
Yep...a dogs got personality, personality goes a long way
Posted by: Jorgod | May 12, 2003 12:00 PM
And the poor belgium guy...with the good old cheese joke...did you notice that belgian guys aren't even mentioned in this reaseach project?
Quite a poor image!!!
Posted by: Jorg | May 12, 2003 12:02 PM
The belgium guy wrote it himself: "I live in Belgium, just below the Netherlands", indeed: BELOW!
Posted by: GRTZ | May 13, 2003 06:30 AM
Hi guys, i'm belgium-netherland guy and i'm boring.
¿what's happen?
Posted by: Gino | May 17, 2003 02:50 PM
Potential Boyfriend Names
I never seen this names before and i'm Dutch.
Waccar ???
Tecco ???
Riian ???
Nice research a little stupid but nice.
Posted by: Riian | May 19, 2003 12:45 AM
"Hojooo!" roept Oki en hij springt er vlug op.
"Hojooo!" roept Doki. Hij zit ook op de kist.
That's all I have to say about you American ho's.
Posted by: Tecco Asswaccar | May 26, 2003 07:50 PM
Why are they boring? I love Dutch guys!
Posted by: Machiko | May 29, 2003 11:18 PM
To be honest, most of the stuff they wrote I felt to be positive. But I guess most of none of you did not even come further than the first bit of the page and stopped reading after boring, or possibly just after the names (which WERE weird and Sofie is a girl's name....).
Oh and boys...I am a Dutch girl. Don't be so pathetic, you knew when you came here that you could expect stuff like this. I think it says a lot about you that you take this all so seriously and start being rude about the girls who made this and the Americans in general.
Posted by: GuesstheCeleb | May 31, 2003 07:13 AM
Vincent, that's a potential dutch name ;)
The list is funny but lol, where did you get that shit? I admit though, Im boring but kind =)
Posted by: Vincent | May 31, 2003 10:37 AM
As a final touch,
God invented the Dutch
Posted by: Lenny | June 3, 2003 11:44 PM
For the record, I'm Dutch (from The Hague). Just over two and half years ago, I met an American girl who was in the Netherlands on business. Last Monday, I received my US Permanent Resident Card in Washington State, where I now live with the American girl in question, to whom I've now been married for the past seven months.
So no generalisations, please.
Still, this site has high amusement value.
Posted by: Jurjen | June 12, 2003 09:14 PM
Know what? I haven't got a clue who the Senators in Ohio are but I'll look it up for you, beeing the Dutch guy that I am. And as for the "going Dutch" thing on a date, I find that offensive, if you want to pay for everything I don't mind, we're also quite emancipated over here... But if you came here as a tourist then you probably came for the drugs 'cause I didn't see any remarks about Rembrand or van Gogh or anything else cultural for that matter. So, anything else about us?
Posted by: Mick | June 14, 2003 09:56 AM
Blow me and look out for the fireworks...
Posted by: cor | June 16, 2003 07:50 AM
funny :)
Posted by: Peter | June 16, 2003 09:01 AM
What a crap,
I've jou met people with the names you mention :
Aartjen
Baartge
Baldzo
Cornelis-Evert
Dietbout
You have met the crazy 0,000005% ridiculous peope from Friesland probably. Friesland is not holland as much as zimbabwe is part of america.
And about american girls, please wake me up when something is about to happen..
Posted by: Jan de Nederlander | June 17, 2003 12:35 AM
Hm... In depth research is *badly* needed... I'll volunteer! :)
c ya,
m.
Posted by: melle | June 17, 2003 06:57 AM
IMO, Hendrik is the only Dutch name mentioned.
Posted by: Olaf | July 5, 2003 11:38 AM
Your forgot to mention that all Dutch people own a windmill and wear clogs all day long even while cycling along the canal on their way to the coffee shop.....no offence meant to the Dutch, I have a pair of wooden clogs myself, it was one of those "My parents were in Holland and all they brought me back were these stupid clogs" gifts.....
Posted by: Don | July 7, 2003 05:37 AM
Come on people, this whole "report" on the dutch male has as much entertainment value as getting your teeth kicked in.
Yes, we do receive proper education. Yes we are to the point and honest. Yes we are liberal. All the rest is pretty much made up by stereotypes. How long did you stay ? 2 Days in the worst city of The Netherlands ? You should visit Utrecht. Way less corrupted by the stuff YOU (being tourists) want to see.
I pretty much had a laugh at all of this though, just shows me once again how ignorant others are of The Netherlands. And, for all you peeps out there, my american girlfriend just told me of this site and she is reading my comment right now. Hi Michelle ! (LOL !)
Posted by: Donny | July 12, 2003 10:31 AM