God Bless Continental

Our trip is over. Due to dwindling funds and the fact that Europe started getting real cold, we called it quits...

Our flight: Frankfurt to Seattle with a five hour layover in Newark. When we arrived at Newark we were tormented at the thought of sitting on another airplane. Lucky us - the flight was cancelled. We wanted to stay the night in NYC, so we came up with a little plan...

Continental Agent: "Let me pull your up reservation and see if they rebooked you on another airline."

Erin: "We only fly Continental."

Continental Agent: "That's very flattering. Thank you."

Erin: "Really, I'm serious."

Continental Agent: "Yes, they've already rebooked you on another flight. You'll be flying American Airlines at 7:00."

Erin: "Oh no. That won't work."

Then somehow we had a hotel room for the night, free dinner, a flight out the next day and we didn't have to mess with our luggage. We saw a bit of the city, hung out with some friends from college during the night and had coffee with another the next day. Then our luggage was waiting for us in Seattle. Good deal...

Being broke won't get you

Being broke won't get you far in Munich. I had five Euros to my name and that's not enough to buy a bottle of cheap wine... so I stole one and made a lot of friends.

I met up with some Italian boys. We were going to go hit the clubs until they remembered they had lost their friend a day and half ago and should probably wait for him to show up. Are you kidding me? When I lose Meghan for two hours and I don't find her in the closest Internet cafe I get nervous, especially when we are in a city we don't know. I definitely don't wait thrity six hours to start worrying about it, especially when my train is leaving in five.

Then there was Effie. Effie was this forty plus year old women who was so trashed she couldn't do anything but convulse. I told her husband who was equally drunk to take her to the hospital. He said they had already been. If they release people like that then I'd hate to see the ones they make stay. I hung out with her for a little bit and tried to get her to eat and possibly throw up. The most of I got out of her was a phrase that sounded like ''uhgkangkajfdkrluaskfmn'' and a lot of drool. I hope when I am forty plus years old I'm still going hard like that, just not dying on the train station floor.

At one point I left to go see what Meghan was up to. When I got back all the entrances were locked and they weren't letting people in. I snuck in the side, but the station police noticed me. I bolted up the stairs and tried to blend with the other vagrants. I guess I stuck out because they found me. I tried to be cute and play dumb, but when I surrounded by seven rent-a-cops I went for plan number two and began passing out www. Americangirlsareeasy.com business cards. I brought one out to give to them and then they all reached into their pockets and showed me they already had them. That was my ticket in.

I started talking to this one guy from Prague about drugs and he was like, do you want to smoke a spliff or something? Hell yeah, I wanted to smoke a spliff. When don't I? So, dude went to his locker and got some skunk from Afghanistan. I know my country is at war with them and everything, but I doubt the pot was Bin Laden's so I got stoned in the middle of the train station with him and Steppenwolf 10 from the Hell's Angels. I didn't know there was a German chapter of Hellīs Angels, but apparently there is. He was like sixty or so, and really cool, but then he tried kissing me. He lost a couple of cool points there, but overall I still like him. I got his phone number, so if anyone tries to take me down or kick me out of their bar, and I can have them killed or something.

Oktoberfest

When I heard that Oktoberfest shut down every day at midnight, I was a little shocked. When I was ready to pass out at 8pm on Saturday night, I was even more shocked. But I suppose that when you start drinking in the middle of the afternoon, it's tough to make it last... but I'm proud to say I didn't reach my bed until 9am Sunday morning.

I ran away from the beer tent around 8pm ready to find my way home. As my sense of direction is non-existent, I could have been walking all night. But I walked by a door and it opened. I went in. There was another door and I opened it. I realized it was one of those miniature rooms with an ATM and much warmer than walking outdoors in the rain. I curled up in a corner and put the human-sized cardboard fox in front of my head. I thought I was well hidden... until three people in medical uniforms woke me up. Apparently someone called me an ambulance. I swear I was the most hilarious thing they had ever seen. German people don't laugh as much as these people were... They pointed me in the right direction home.

But before I got there I noticed the Hotel Flora. This lovely hotel is the same one where Erin and I crashed at the night before when we were homeless. They have comfortable hallways. But this time the hallway had people bustling around, so I locked myself in the bathroom and slept on the floor. It was a nice bed until 800 people tried coming in.

I was halfway home when a couple American guys started talking to me. I ended up showing them where the clubs were and staying out all night. I forgot how Americans dance, but was quickly reminded. It involves one in front and one behind, passing you off like a ride. One of them tried to buy me... I couldn't really understand. I also couldn't understand why some Spanish chick tried stealing my sweater and why I didn't punch the bitch when I caught her. She was so drunk I had to take it off her myself. While punching a drunk chick would have been low, I should've at least taken off her scarf while I was undressing her... It was cute and probably not hers to begin with.

Anyway, I realized I couldn't go back to the guy's place I was staying at because it was too late. The American guys didn't have a place to stay so I escorted them to the hallway of Hotel Flora. When I left it was still raining and a very nice taxi driver took pity on me and drove me around a bit. He dropped me off at my friend's apartment and I slept on the doorstep until I was too cold to stand it. It was 9am.

While Meghan was making a

While Meghan was making a phone call to the pharmacist in Switzerland that we met in Morocco, I saw this guy standing there by himself. I asked some random question and we got to talking. He told me how he was on his way to Copenhagen. I asked if he had a good time at Oktoberfest and he said, "I didn't go, I just got here five minutes ago." I looked at him like he was on crack and said, "You're in Munich and there is this huge beer festival going on and you are going to miss it to go to Copenhagen? Are you retarded?" I realize this isn't the nicest thing to say to a complete stranger, but the guy was cool enough not to think that I was a complete bitch. Five minutes later we all left together to go somewhere, clubbing or something.

We ended up at Kunstpark Ost and for some reason everything was closed... and it was really early. Usually this place doesn't shut down until about noon. We found an open club, got some beers and just started getting really pissed. About four hours later the guy looked at me and said, "I don't feel so right, can we go?" Sure, no problem. I thought maybe he was just a little bored, but then he started hallucinating. The lucky bastard got drugged and it wasn't ruphenol, which just makes you black out and throw up for twelve hours, it was some sort of drug that makes you trip. How jealous was I? I wanted to be the one hallucinating. We spent a good couple of hours looking at trees and bushes. I'm sure it was fascinating for him. If I hadn't experienced the feeling once or twice myself, I probably would have been annoyed, but I think it's really cute when someone can look at a wall for half an hour and think it's the coolest thing they have ever seen.

We got "home" to Hotel Flora at about 6:00 a.m.. We made our bed in the hallway. (No, we didn't have a room there.) Even though the guy was tripping, I think he was still a little confused as to why we were sleeping in hallways of hotels we weren't supposed to be in. It was probably a little more odd when we told him we had a friend in Munich we could stay with but we enjoy sneaking into hotels and seeing how long it takes for them to kick us out. In fact, most people are confused by this.

We slept too soundly until 9:00 a.m. when the maid and the manager woke us up. They asked what the we were doing in the hallway. I explained that we had a room but we were locked out and it was too late in the night to bang on doors, so we just made a bed in the hall. They asked which room we were in and we said, "27." The manager offered to let us in, but seeing how room 27 had two American guys we had scared the shit out of the night before, we declined.

It was about that time I noticed my black bag was missing. I thought Meghan had picked it up, so I didn't worry. When I ran into Meghan ten minutes later and she didn't have it, I realized somebody had stolen my bag. This is the third time this summer that I have been robbed, and they always steal things they can't even use. Someone somewhere is the proud owner of my contacts, my glasses and my dirty laundry. How pissed are they? Had they been smarter they would have taken the bag beside it with the money, the credit cards and the digital camera.

I went back to the hotel like I was a guest and asked the maid if she had seen the bag. She was so nice. She opened the door to every room on the hallway, said she was the control and let me open every closet and every suitcase. Most people were very compliant. The naked Italian guys weren't very amused and the lady we woke up wasn't too happy either, but everyone else was so helpful. The bag didn't turn up, but what can you do...that's life. I'm not upset. I find it very amusing, not quite as amusing as when the guy stole my purse and drained my checking account and maxed out my credit cards at Toys 'R Us, but it's a close second.

Death and Dying

Apparently before you go to Africa you're supposed to get vaccinations and medical exams and all sorts of other responsible stuff. You're not supposed to wander around the Sahara desert in a tank top and shorts and sleep outdoors without a bug net. Unfortunately, I didn't start researching the topic until after I realized I was dying.

About a week after I left the Sahara, bumps just started appearing. All of the sudden my hand would start itching and I'd look down and there were three new bumps. My neck did the same, then my elbow, leg, stomach, etc. Every appendage had some bump formation. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me so I went to the doctor.

The first doctor was a true Nazi. I asked how much a visit would cost and she told me $80. Now, I don't mind paying that much but if I can pay less, I'm going to try. I gave her the whole sob story that I've gotten real good at... I'm a student, I'm poor, I slept on the streets last night, student discount?, pity discount?... I even spoke her language. She wasn't having it. She told me that if I could afford to be in Europe, I could afford to go to the doctor. She actually shoved me out of the door and slammed it in my face. Here I am dying of some crazy African illness and $80 dollars is more important than my life. She didn't even let me finish my sentence... I was in the middle of consenting to the charges.

So I tried another doctor - this time a dermatologist. There were two and they didn't know what to do with me. They made me get completely naked while they walked around me in circles inspecting every bump with gloves and a magnifying glass. They told me that the bumps looked like bug bites. Yeah, thanks assholes, I told you that from the beginning... but there was no cloud of bugs following me around Munich. They gave me some anti-itching cream and told me to come back in a week if it was still there.

I did what any girl would do... I asked my mom. My mom is a smart lady. She started asking about other symptoms. I thought my fingers were swollen from carrying five suitcases back from Spain. I thought my neck and back were sore from sleeping in random places. I thought the first sign of the bumps on my forehead a week ago was just acne. Then I remembered how I had been complaining of bad headaches and ringing in my ears. I hadn't connected any of them.

I researched my possible illness online... if the doctors couldn't figure it out, I should start trying. As a note, if you ever want to be scared, start reading about incurable African diseases from a fly bite and recall how many flies swarmed around you. Anyway, I decided I had a real serious one and thank god for Fil or I would have cried the whole night. Instead, I thought it was real funny.

I went to the Center for Tropical and Infectious Disease in the morning and it wasn't funny anymore. I hadn't slept for two days and was on the brink of death, so I didn't even attempt to speak in German. I tried my whole student-slept-on-the-streets-last-night-and-help-me-I'm-dying sob story and it scored me no points. The secretary decided I wasn't sick and told me I was just having an allergic reaction to something. Now, thank you bitch, but show me your medical degree or let me talk to a doctor. I spoke with a bit more class than that, and it sounded more like: 'pout pout, pleeeease....'

Anyway, she brought me to the doctor and explained my case to him in German, thinking I didn't understand. She said something close to: 'Pretty girl is worried because the rash isn't pretty... probably got it from sleeping on the streets.... hasn't slept in two days and is irritable.' Irritable was right, I started bawling.

The doctor decided I was having an allergic reaction to something as well and ran blood work to prove it. It came up negative. Then he finally believed me and passed me off to his collegue who knew about tropical diseases. Apparently I have Mediterranian Spotted Fever... I was somehow bit by a tick. But I am strong, so it is a weak case and should clear itself up on its own. They gave me a back up prescription for antibiotics just incase. So, yay, it's not terminal...

Sleeping

We have been busted for sleeping in random hallways and hotel lobbies and libraries and train stations and just about everywhere that has bed potential on this trip. It has been interesting to see that different cultures have different reactions.

In Spain we were caught in the 'Privat' room. They brought the whole staff upstairs to laugh at us.

In Italy the train station closed on us. (We weren't trying to sleep there, we were temporarily dodging the rain and they thought we were trying to sleep there.) They told us to get the hell out.

In Turkey we couldn't get a bus back to Istanbul until the next morning. A random guy on the street had just gotten off work at a hotel. He brought us to the lobby, dimmed the lights, provided pillows and blankets and his coworker gave us coffee in the morning.

In Morocco people we met wouldn't even take us to a hotel. They took us to their houses and gave us ultra comfortable beds after a yummy dinner.

My least favorite country to get busted in has been Germany. In this city, they raise the prices 250% for Oktoberfest and the rooms are gone 2 months in advance. Still, no sympathy from these people. The maid our first night busted us wrapped in blankets in the hallway. We told her we had had a fight with our boyfriends. She chased us down 7 flights of stairs demanding to know our room number. We only got away because I waved goodbye to the hotel receptionist as if I knew her. The maid redirected the room number question at the receptionist and we kept walking. Scornful woman.